So the other day I threw a royal pity party for myself. I seriously get a good laugh out of people who assume I don’t have bad days. I’m telling you.. So I was walked around COSTCO talking to my best friend Kameron and had convinced myself that the best thing I had going was the 80 bottles of spring water I snagged for around 8 bucks and mastering the art of timing to know when the samples distributors had changed positions… I made four rounds.. FOUR!.. & they didn’t notice #shame
Me and Kameron can never have normal conversations lol, it’s always really deep and introspective yet timely – or SUPER out of line lol. We’re both going through this weird phase of life, I think it’s called maturity or adulting. Anyway, the same things aren’t as satisfying as they once were. The same crowds aren’t as convincing. Certain environments have become literally draining. & most of our energy is being used towards building our respective dreams and creating a life that we love. All of my friends (especially from college) are very passionate, energetic, and optimistic people. So you can imagine how unsettling it is when one of us gets “down in the dumps” (as we call it). The good thing is, we don’t let each other stay there for long.
So we started to talk about how hard adulting was getting but naturally, the annoying optimists that we both are forced one of us to stop and change our perspective. That day, it was Kam. Life isn’t becoming hard… we were making life hard. Like we are LITERALLY are making this stuff harder than it has to be. All the what ifs-, the comparisons, the expectations, and criticism that was brewing that day were literally self-imposed. I wasn’t roaming around COSTCO shuffling my feet because life is hard, I was doing that stuff because I CHOSE, in that moment, to believe that life was hard – and so it was.
Seriously, I’m getting maintenance done on my good-running SUV, shopping in COSTCO for water (I HAVE 80 BOTTLES), getting free food, on my iPhone with someone who loves me, I had clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, a bag loaded with a MacBook & iPad & books – and I was complaining!?.. I might have also complained about there not being Wifi for me to sit and work in the building but you got the gist by now.. I was being a total brat. Life and God have both
been pretty freaking awesome to me (not that I believe you can have one without the other) & even though there has been some lows.. Like low lows, they haven’t been so low that I couldn’t bring myself out of the dumps, and make it to where I am today. *PRAISE BREAK*
When Kameron made me change my perspective on the situation and called me out on my nonsense it instantly clicked.. I needed to shut up and get back focused on all the good.
Listen, life is as hard as we make it. If we’re convinced something will be hard, it will be hard. When you really think about it… it could be so much worse. The simple fact that you’re able to read this blog post and have access to whatever device you’re reading from speaks volumes. We all hit those moments where it’s like.. What on earth am I doing? But the key is to become more resilient to those moments.
In the old days, Kameron and I would have gotten Chinese food and had a circle with our friends where we vented for hours on end, but now we understand the power of not letting each other dwell in the negative for too long. We vent it out and then quickly get to finding solutions or changing our perspective.
I want to challenge you to take on this idea of being thankful for your problems and actively seek ways to find happiness in your storm. This is not to dismiss your problems and say that your feelings are not valid because they definitely are. This is about taking control of your life and altering the state of mind around what is going on so that you can make room for more good.
This resilience to your stress and ability to respond to your issues rather than react comes with practice. When we react it is usually more defensive, sporadic, and emotional. If we can learn to mindfully respond, we start to incorporate reason and logic and can understand that things aren’t as bad as we’re making them out to be.
The good news is that you can strengthen this through concentrated efforts. Check out this video I made to help you understand the power of your thoughts & emotions and learn why you should actively work to process them and find tools that work for you.